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Please, don’t be nice to me

So this morning, I was running a bit late and decided to brave McDonald’s for breakfast. On the few occasions when I do, I order the same thing, a #3 – sausage mcmuffin with egg, hash brown and a small Coke instead of coffee (yeech!). The sandwich is occasionally too greasy, but it’s better than a few other options.

So normally, the drive-in monkey takes my order without question, makes the pricing adjustment and the total comes to $3.09 for the works. Livable to me, even if I don’t eat the hash brown most of the time or drink all the pop. It’s my call.

But this morning, things were different. I give my order “Number 3 with a small coke” and the monkey of the day replies “How about a medium coke?” I answer that no, I want a small coke please. Long wait and then he gives me my total, which is the same $3.09 it’s been for a few years now. When I get to the drive up window though, he starts trying to argue with me about why I should have gotten a medium coke instead of the small.

“It’s priced for a small coffee, you see..”

“I know that, I just want a small coke with it.”

“But I’m just trying to save you money.”

“That’s fine, I don’t want that much pop, thanks.”

He really seemed put out that I rebuffed his attempts to “save me money” by giving me a larger drink. I don’t even drink the entire small pop before I get on the train, much less a medium. What is about “saving money” that makes food service monkeys so defensive?

It’s like at the movie theatre. Last time I went by myself, I ordered a small popcorn and a large bottle of water. The monkey immediately told me that if I got the large popcorn combo, it would only be $0.25 more, so did I want that? No, jackass, I want what I ordered, and since what you so generously offered me as an upgrade doesn’t include the water (and I can’t substitute) then why did you even bother?

I’m a freaking adult, give me what I want and don’t worry about the “value” or “saving” me money. There are places where this kind of help is valued and necessary, but not while getting food. No wonder we are a nation of fatsos, when everyone is worried about giving you more food than you need, even if you didn’t ask for it.

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